Because you came late, too late, even past mealtime.
The cost of entering someone’s heart doubles with age. At fifteen, a simple glance back can become a lifelong precious memory. At forty, even someone who manages both work and housework is just another part of life’s struggles. As children, playing in the dirt could create lifelong friendships, but as adults, today’s sworn brothers might stab you in the back tomorrow.
A person’s understanding of the world develops over time. Things that exist before maturity become fundamental truths, things that appear during maturity become one’s own, and things that come after maturity seem strange and alien. Everyone’s nostalgia is about their childhood and youth. You hear fifty-year-olds missing their fifteen-year-old sports field, but never hear hundred-year-olds missing their sixty-year-old nursing home. Though the time gap seems the same, the perception of the world is very different.
If you appear in someone’s life when they’re building their understanding of the world, you become part of their world, an important piece of their memories, a significant part of their life. Whenever they remember that time, they can’t avoid or forget you. The more involved you were, the bigger your place in their memories, and the more likely you are to touch their heart.
Also, people’s perception of time speeds up as they age. Three years in middle school feel long and meaningful, from cafeteria to playground, from classroom to campus, from bulletin boards to workbooks… there’s so much to remember. But three years at work pass in a blur - before you even know your coworkers, you’re already planning to change jobs or file labor complaints. Who has time to notice who might touch their heart?
A one-year-old baby is very different from a ten-year-old child, but a seventy-year-old and an eighty-year-old are just elderly people with no distinction. When people get older and lose their own uniqueness, how can they notice others’ special qualities?
The reason it’s harder to fall in love with age is that our understanding of the world becomes more complete and clear. We no longer need to fill in gaps. Except for League of Legends designers, no one likes to mess with a mature system. Once something is set, it’s set - those who come late are simply late. People start like blank paper - a light stroke can leave a clear mark. But when their picture is already complete, you need much stronger strokes to leave your mark. Everyone has their own story and their own characters in that story, and you might not be in it.
Zhao Yun of Changshan fought bravely and loyally throughout his life, but his dedication still couldn’t compare to the brotherhood formed in the Peach Garden.
Cao Cao of Xuzhou gave his heart and trust to Guan Yu, but in the end, Guan Yu still left his position to find his sworn brother through many battles.
Did they do anything wrong? No, they just came late.